Choose Joy

Joy - a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.

What brings you great satisfaction and pleasure? Is it reading a good book while drinking a glass of wine? Or learning something new that you can utilize in your career? Maybe it’s watching a Netflix movie that you’ve never seen before or trying a new recipe you found online, whatever it is, try to make sure that it’s something that makes you happy from within and leaves you with a genuine smile while doing it and it doesn’t feel like a chore. I’d say to try to start with yourself before you navigate to saying “well being around this person or that person, brings me joy” or “serving others brings me joy”, while all of that is ok, just think about it for a second, what if these people are unavailable and there’s no one around, how will you be able to experience your own joy by yourself? You won’t be able to because your joy is determined by and attached to other aspects outside of yourself and that can lead to negative feelings, which is the opposite of what you’re seeking, and who wants to be counterproductive these days? I mean really, who? 

When I think of joy I think of laughter, smiles, playfulness, and feelings from within that you experience but cannot explain, but personally for me, joy is something that I can remember only feeling for short periods of time and it’s something that has slipped away from me very easily, without realizing how or why until now. I’ve learned that Joy can turn into an equal amount of hurt if you’re not mindful of the things or people that you allow yourself to find joy in, it’s a thin line that often gets blurred because we want to live in the moment of what feels good to us. This is why it is very important to find true joy from within, it may seem hard or even awkward in the beginning but as time goes on it’ll become much more natural with learning what you like and implementing new ways of making yourself experience joy on different levels. This way you won’t become dependent on outside sources for making you feel what you already have embedded deep down within, it just takes some real self love to begin activating your genuine joy.

I cannot lie though, I am still kind of stuck on that thin line, but not so much because these past few months I've learned to be content with enjoying my own company, doing the things that I mentioned above, i found that it is a real humbling and calming experience. I have learned so much about myself, especially with navigating through my mind and the way I allow myself to think about things and the way that I react as well, I no longer just react, I ask myself how is this situation or person helping or hurting with my journey and once I have my answer then I am able to be at peace with things. Before I’d allow myself to be worked up or upset for a very long period of time but now I dont allow things or people that are not in my control to take away from my internal joy. On the other hand of this new journey I’ve also come to realize that although I am no longer dependent on being around people or things in order for me to feel fulfilled and a sense of happiness, there is still a side of me that enjoys interaction with others, I mean lets be honest who can actually live life without being around their loved ones?  I honestly love and enjoy interactions with my close friends and family and being in group settings, but I’ve also come to the realization that always trying to set up group outings, chill out sessions or whatever can lead to a lot of headaches and frustrations which is not the goal of what is intended, so now I simply put the invite out and I am ok with who shows up and who doesn't, as well as I am learning to turn down invites or just being ok with not being invited. I had to realize that feeling “a way” about not being included stripped away my ability to embrace my internal joy. 

I am extremely happy with the shift that I am making when it comes to the way I allow my thoughts to flow. I keep on emphasizing on how I allow my thoughts to flow, because we are truly in control of our thoughts and actions and once we are able to control them, our lives can become a lot less complicated and/or frustrating. So, as I close out, I challenge each and every one of my readers to start taking control of your thoughts and actions as you journey through your life finding your happy place, so that you can live a more joyous life. There will be times where you will still feel frustrated but the goal is being able to turn it around for your own sanity and not allowing things out of your control to control you and take away from your joy.

Thank you for taking the time out to read my thoughts, leave a message to share your experiences and share this link with others that you think will appreciate this read! Love always Deborah Young 😘

Proverbs 17:22

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones”